Selfless
by brooklynbridge
Summary: Selfless was what he was. She was the only thing that he couldn’t have without the consequences. So he gave up everything just so that he could save her. But, going back to the beginning, what would’ve happened if he had come back for her? [Evan aged 13]
1. This Movie's A Reality

Title- Selfless

Author- Brooke

Chapter One- This Movie's A Reality

Genre- Drama/Romance

Section- The Butterfly Effect

Summary- Selfless. It was what he was. She was the only thing that he couldn't have without the consequences. So he gave up everything between them just so that he could save her. But, going back to the beginning, what would've happened if he _had_ come back for her? –Evan at age 13- (Set in 2002 for the purposes of the music.)

Disclaimer- I own nothing. If I did, I'd be out spending my millions. Enjoy!

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CHAPTER ONE

**_Evan_**

The look in Kayleigh's eyes as we drove away was enough to make me throw open the door of that stupid truck and jump out, just so that I wouldn't have to leave. The truth was, leaving her felt like leaving everything. Looking into that side view mirror watching her body get smaller and smaller by the second wasn't exactly how I had pictured our last day together. It felt like it was movie, almost as if none of it was real.

She stared at those words that were pressed up against the window like they were everything left in the world that she had to hold on to. _I'll come back for you _must have ran over and over in her head millions of times before it would actually be comprehended with everything she must have been feeling at that moment. The thing that I hated most was that... I never even got to say goodbye to her.

**_Kayleigh_**

I just sat in my room as the pictures in front of me seemed like they were taken hundreds of years ago, when they were only taken within a few months from now. The one that seemed to hold my attention so tightly was the one that had been taken months before the explosion, the movies, and the junk yard... all of it.

A close-up of Evan and I was all that could be seen, but I remember that day so clearly. It was like it was just yesterday that Evan and I were sitting on the swings at the park, finally having a little time to just have fun together. Come to think of it, it was one of the last days that I remember Evan and me just having a great time together. I still can't believe that he's gone...

**_Evan_**

The ride to the new house was an extremely silent one. Not that it was hard not to say anything since there was nothing to say. The only thing that wasn't silent was the sound of the radio, which played that song in the worst possible way. As if the song wasn't sad and overwhelming enough, the tension that was felt in the air made it that much worse.

_I'm always assuming the worst,_

_But you're going on none the less_

_And there's nothing to cushion your heart led fall._

_Letters from further away_

_Keep pulling me close to home._

_And there's something to cushion my callous sighs._

_And I know that you hope for _

_Longer good-byes_

_Embracing for forever_

_And falling in your eyes._

I was still writing in my journal when we reached the house. It was everything that I had expected. My mom was trying to make it just like the old house. The only thing that would make that statement true was for it to be exactly that- the _old_ house.

I walked up the steps with a box full of my things in hand. I opened the door to the smell of new house. Just because I knew she wasn't there made me hate that smell for the rest of my life. I walked in, looking around curiously. I found the stairway and made my way up the stairs and into the hallway they took me to. I walked down the hardwood floors as each time my foot hit the ground it sent a shiver up my spine.

I found a room that had been painted a Kelly green. I deliberately took it just because it happened to be my favourite colour. I threw my box on to the ground and looked around. "I guess this is home now," I whispered quietly under my breath as I surveyed the room and left.

I went downstairs to find my mom unpacking some boxes into the kitchen cupboards. I walked outside to the back of the truck to grab some more boxes to put in my room. It took me around an hour before I had brought them all upstairs. I jogged down the stairs and into the kitchen where my mom continued to put things away.

"Can I go for a walk?" I asked, hoping that she would say yes.

She looked up, "Okay... but please Evan, be back before it gets dark and try not to get lost."

"I will," I replied as I ran out the front door.

It was a confusing neighbourhood. I could never figure out exactly where I was since all of the houses looked the same. I hated that. I walked further down the street to see a multi-coloured figure of a playground. Seeing as I had no idea where else to go, I figured it might be a good place to go and just relax.

As I sat on the swings, I saw mothers and their children playing in the sandbox and kids running around in the fields playing football and soccer. As I watched, all I wanted was for Kayleigh to be sitting on the swing next to me singing a song under her breath. I think the entire world knew that that wasn't going to happen.

**_Kayleigh_**

I could hear my dad yelling at Tommy again. It wasn't anything new. I had put all of the pictures away, except for the one of Evan and me. I was lying on my back just holding it up in front of me. I couldn't stop staring. I couldn't stop wondering.

Wondering just when I was going to see him again... did he care about me enough to really come back for me?

I never really thought that he knew how I had felt about him. No one knew. I wouldn't dare tell a soul. Tommy would most likely kill Evan if he had found out while he still lived here. _While he still lived here_... I hate the sound of those words. I just flat out hate that he's gone. Really, what I hate the most is that he'll never know just how much I truly cared. That is, unless he comes back and I have the courage to tell him.

What am I talking about? _Of course_ he'll come back. He _kissed_ me. That must mean something. It has to mean something. If it doesn't, then guys are more messed up then I ever thought they were. This is Evan I'm talking about... he'll come back.

I wonder if he misses me just as much as I'm missing him right now. I can't get over how much I miss him every second that passes by. It feels like each second is equal to one hour time is passing so slowly.

I still can't help but wonder what my life would've been like if I had gone to live with my mom. I wonder if Tommy wouldn't be like he is. That would be different. As much as I hate my dad, I don't know what my life would've been like without Evan. He's my best friend and I... I love him.

_**Evan**_

I spent almost two hours picturing her beside me. The millions of songs that I pictured her singing did nothing to comfort my heart. I didn't think that anything could really comfort me. I started walking home just before the sun started to set. With my hands in my pockets, I balanced myself along the curb as the cool breeze blew my hair around a bit. I passed the identical houses until the only way that I could tell mine from the others was that big, ugly, orange and white truck parked out front. And the 'Sold' sign on the front lawn.

I walked in through the front door to see my mom still in the kitchen, yet this time she was cooking dinner. I immediately went to walk up the stairs and walked straight into my room. I guess the movers had set up my bed for me, and all of my furniture had been put in.

I lay down on my bed picking up a box that was intelligently labelled 'Some Stuff' at the same time. I opened it up and saw my photo album sitting on top of everything. I took out the book and placed it on my bed, pushing the box to the side.

I opened up the book and see pictures of my mom and me, Tommy, Lenny and I, and then I came to that one. It was the picture of Kayleigh and me. I remember that day so clearly, it feels like it was five minutes ago that we were sitting on the swings at the park just having a great time together. It seems like that was the last time that we were together and having fun and just so... worry free.

I'm so mad that I had to leave, but it's not like I could've done anything about it. I miss her so much, and I don't think anyone will ever know just how much I miss her right now and... how much I love her.

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-(A/N: Just to let ya know, the song is called Living In Your Letters by Dashboard Confessional. Well, I hope you all liked my first chapter! I was reading the stuff on here and you're all really talented writers! I think since we're all on here, I'm guessing that you all like the movie The Butterfly Effect. Haha.. At least, I hope so! It's my favourite movie and ever since I saw it I've been thinking of a story to write for it on here. I've written some other fics that you can check out in my profile. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and please review! Toodles. –Brooke)- 


	2. Arguments and Bus Rides

Selfless  
Chapter Two  
Arguments and Bus Rides

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It had taken me a month to fully notice that I had to do something. I had spent 30 days sitting around my house waiting for something to happen. That was until I finally noticed… I had to do something in order for things to change. 

It was a Saturday morning when I walked down those stairs, ready to tell my mom what I had to do. I knew that she wouldn't completely agree with it, but I figured that maybe she would notice that this was something that meant a lot to me.

I quietly walked down the stairs in my plaid pajama pants and a white T-shirt. I saw my mom sitting at the kitchen table drinking a coffee. It looked as if she was staring off into the distance, not looking at anything unparticular.

"Hey, mom?"

She turned around in her chair. From the expression on her face, she seemed sad and lonely.

"Uh, can I talk to you?" I was so afraid she wouldn't want to talk to me at all.

"Sure, honey. Come sit down." She pointed to the chair beside her. From the choked up tone in her voice, I figured she'd been sitting there for a while… just thinking.

I walked over to the table and took a seat next to her. She looked up at me in anticipation. It seemed like she was trying hard to look interested and up for a conversation.

"What is it, Evan?"

"I uh…" I stalled a bit. I was trying to find the right order of words to say this to her. Things were all so jumbled up in my head. "I need to go see Kayleigh."

The straight-forwardness in my voice surprised her a little. She looked around a little, trying to find words to reply.

"Uh… what?" She couldn't think of anything else to say. I figured that that would happen. To try and lessen the tension, I spoke again.

"Can I go see her? Visit her? Can she come stay here for a while?"

"Evan… I know you probably miss her but that's why we moved here-"

"Mom! She's stuck at home with her dad! And Tommy… he's too busy getting into trouble to protect her! She has _no one_ right now… I need to be with her."

I came out of that proud of what I had said. My mom was lost for words for a moment.

"What's wrong with her being with her father? He's a perfectly fine father."

"_NO_! No, he's _not_, mom! He beats her! He beats them both!" I was screaming and I almost felt bad for putting all of this on my mom at one time.

"_Evan_… I think you're overreacting a bit. You're just making up these preposterous excuses for you to go and see her! But I'm sorry… I can't do that. This is the reason why we moved here- to get away from all of that and the life we used to live. We can start over here and have a new life… don't you see that?"

I sat there in disbelief that my own mother didn't even believe me. I was outraged. Pissed off. I wanted to get away.

I knew that somewhere deep down, my mom wanted to believe me. But I knew that somewhere closer to the surface, she knew that if we started over and got away from all the chaos and blackouts and everything I was faced with back home, it would be better. We would be better off. We could live.

But I couldn't live without Kayleigh.

Later that night, I waited till she had gone to bed. I opened my bedroom window and climbed through onto the roof. I pulled my backpack out the window and threw it slowly on to the ground below. I carefully climbed down the trellis and onto the ground. I picked up the bag, put it on my back, and made my way to the bus station.

The entire walk there, I had this huge rush of adrenaline. I could feel it flowing through my body as I felt the butterflies and excitement inside my stomach. I was so excited to see Kayleigh.

I had to wait a while, since there aren't that many busses going around at 12 in the morning. Finally, it came and as I checked my watch it read 12:38 am.

I looked around the bus for a place to sit. The only empty seats I saw were either beside a grungy biker guy, or an old lady. I went for the old lady. I took a seat and pulled out my journal.

_I'm on the bus to go see Kayleigh. I can't even explain how excited I am to see her. I snuck out of the house tonight so that I could meet her tomorrow. I don't know where I'm going to stay or what I'm going to do, once I find her. All I know is that I'll be with her, and she'll be safe… as long as she comes home with me. That is… if she will._

I closed up my journal and rested my head back on the headrest. I could feel the old lady looking over at me. I sat up and looked at her.

"What?" I said. Not exactly the most polite thing to say, but she was staring at me.

"What's a young boy like you doing on a bus at this time?" She seemed old, but youthful. She had a somewhat cheeriness to her voice.

"I'm going to see a friend."

She laughed a little laugh. "And I'm guessing that your mother doesn't know,"

I shook my head. I guess it was a bit obvious that I had snuck out if I was on a bus at this time.

"She didn't exactly agree with me going to see her."

"A girl, huh? Your girlfriend?"

I laughed a small laugh under my breath. I wish. I shook my head. The lady nodded.

"So what's your name, boy?"

I was reluctant to tell her, but it didn't seem like it would do any harm.

"Evan."

"I see, Evan. Well, how come your mother doesn't agree with you going to see your friend?"

I couldn't tell her the truth. I don't think I could tell that story to anyone.

"She has something against her parents. There were fights between them and that's why we moved away."

I personally thought it was a pretty good excuse. But, I guess it didn't fool her.

"Well, if you ever want to share the real story with me, I'll be glad to listen."

I looked over at her, a bit surprised that she could tell I was lying. I thought of myself as a pretty good liar. Guess not.

"So, what's your name?"

She looked a little surprised that I had asked the question after that, instead of backing off and going to sleep.

"Gladys."

A truly typical old lady name. I loved it.

"Well, it was nice talking to you, Gladys."

She had a huge smile across her face.

"You, too, Evan."

I smiled, rested my head back on the headrest and fell asleep.

I woke up to find that it was morning, and we had finally made it into town. I opened my eyes to see the sun shining. Gladys nudged me a little.

"Time to go, Evan."

I smiled, remembering our conversation the night before.

I sat up and grabbed my bag from underneath my feet. I stood up from my seat and began to walk down the aisle towards the door.

"Evan!" I heard Gladys' voice from behind me. I turned around to see her holding up my journal in her right hand. I laughed and walked back to my seat.

"Thanks." She smiled as I took the book out of her hand and continued on my way out of the bus.

Once off, I pulled my bag off my shoulder and opened it up to shove the journal inside. I placed it back on my back and walked into the bus station. I found a bench and sat down. I glanced at my watch to see it was only 6:47 am. Too early to go see Kayleigh, but as I sat there I felt gurgles in my stomach. Food.

I looked around the station for any sign of a café or a convenience store. I then saw a sign for a café not very far down from where I was sitting. I was surprised it was open this early. I walked in and bought a bagel and a coffee to wake me up.

I sat down at a small table inside the café. Just as I did, I looked over to my left and noticed a girl with blond hair sitting a couple tables over, with her back towards me. She looked so much like… wait, it couldn't be her. What would she be doing here at this time in the morning? Could it be…

"Kayleigh?"

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